So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
