my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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