thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
