I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Text me some of your sweat
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
