we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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