I bet he comes in French.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
two words...techno handjob
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize