you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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