ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
