im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
