He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
worst night to have a conscience
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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