Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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