I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
