The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
