he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
