just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize