Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize