I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
