Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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