Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
