I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
