Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
