have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
