using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
