Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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