WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
