Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Randomize
