I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
