we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
