Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
