he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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