Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
