brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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