she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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