shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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