Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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