i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize