id be glad to
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
