Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
