Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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