I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
