So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
