Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
