i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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