Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
