You're a womanizer and a bitch.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
