Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
