She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
