The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
