I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
