I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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