Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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