East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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