On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
