i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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