Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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