Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Everclear isn't food dammit
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
