Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize