she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
