4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
